next time

i cant express anything 

not a single idea

maybe it'll be better next time 

-N

Cosmic Romance

Over spring break Bobby and I got to get away for a day and go to Kennedy Space Center we partied like it was 1995. That's right an ANALOG DATE. It's really disgusting I know, but the pictures we got back were absolutely lovely. There is something so nice about shooting film, maybe it makes the memories feel more tangible?? I'm not sure. All I do know is that I'm very glad we did it.

(also let us have a moment of silence for the full roll of film that did not expose correctly. Your beautiful images are living in our minds, where they will stay forever.) 

Note: All images were taken on 35mm film 400 and 800 speed 

This is what happens when Bobby and I both carry around a film camera for a day. The day was just fantastic all around and I cannot wait for more pictures from our summer trips.

p.s - I know this post is like 2 months late and we are upon the summer months already. Just trying to keep us both updated. 

Thoughts on Film and Literature

I've been doing a lot of peeping lately specifically on movies and books. And some of the ones i have peeped  lead me down the rabbit hole of my own mind chasing the intangible, fleeting feelings of emotions, trying to connect dots that although feel strong in the invisible - here in the visible - are a lot weaker.

They still deserve to try to be understood. 

The topic for today is:

Columbus Vs. Murakami 

Columbus (2017)
Director: Kogonada 
Cinematographer: Elisha Christian 

When a renowned architecture scholar falls suddenly ill during a speaking tour, his son Jin finds himself stranded in Columbus, Ind., a small Midwestern city celebrated for its many significant modernist buildings. Jin strikes up a friendship with Casey, a young architecture enthusiast who works at the local library. As their intimacy develops, Jin and Casey explore both the town and their own conflicted emotions.

(Summary provided by google- thx u the best)

Columbus shook me to my core. It cradled my artsy indie heart and gave it everything it could ever ask for plus things I didn't even know I wanted or needed. It was visually flawless, and the simple coming of age story was not stale or tired but a unique perspective that felt fresh. There is not a single shot that is not interesting. Each one is gorgeous and well executed, the colors are light and soft. Christian takes the background and brings them to the foreground seamlessly blending the two together. The architecture of the city is brought to such attention that it's presence is almost as grand as the two main characters. Taking buildings that people have walked past a hundreds of times and presenting them in a way that allows you to truly see them for the first time. Overall the story is mundane, we see a blip in these characters lives just at the right moment where they intersect. But the true beauty of this film is how the the surreal, dream like quality, the quiet simplicity of the whole thing comes together to create something bigger than all its parts. Leaving me breathless and unable to look away, or to stop thinking about it. 

Now this is not actually 1V1 but yet just an expansion of a thought that I had over the weekend while talking about the film with Bobby. All of those things mentioned, the surreal, the softness, the visual beauty of a city you've lived in your whole life, are all things I experience every single time I dive into one of Murakami's novels. Specifically The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles and Norwegian Wood. Both of them wash me in the same feelings of sadness, hope, and beauty. Murakami has said that he does not outline the plots of his stories, rather he just sits down with an idea and allows it to write itself. What you are left with is loose and soft and organic. It feels real despite you knowing it is an act of fiction. I felt the same way with Columbus. As if the characters are alive, living out whatever lives are ahead of them and we get to look in and watch unfold for a moment. 

The only way to truly see if I'm not spouting nonsense is to experience them yourself. Watch the movie (it's on Hulu), read Murakami, his story telling will change your life in at least one aspect or another. I know it did for me. 

Here's to the new year

Well shit guys, fall came and went, and 2018 is now upon us. Time really can get away from you if you're not careful. I could give y'all a bunch of excuses like: I was working 2 jobs + full time school, orrr my laptop broke and I just got it up and running, orrr I have not been able to think of a decent topic to talk about for the last 5 months.

They're all true but ik they are boring and you don't want to hear that. So here is to a new year and another shot at doing this thing more regularly. I know that the "you" I refer to is in fact nonexistent, and I am really just doing this for myself to feel a little more sane. So yanno here we gooo this is for you, future me. 

I am attempting to keep myself a little more accountable to this is where I am going to try putting my goals for the new year out and into the universe, or, this blog. They are not very big but little things really do help to better yourself.

 2018:

• Starting etsy shop to sell art
• Regularly practice yoga/guitar 
• Read 6 books 
• Small road trips 
• Go to Portugal 

Now let us (me) reflect back on the new year and tell you some of the highlights bc overall it was a decent year and I don't want to fade away into nothing. 

 2017:

• bobby
• Visit to Dali Museum 
• Being accepted into ASU (even though i decided not to do that) 
• Finding an academic interest (Chemistry)
• Learning to play the guitar 
• Learning to embroider 
• Getting bangs 
• Meeting Bad Bad Hats 
• Meeting tons of new people and making new friends 

I have a lot of high hopes for this new year and using the idea of a clean slate as inspiration to really try and do some cool shit this year. I have a lot of great people on my side and I think that together we can really kick some ass. So stay tuned and maybe I'll pop back in by 2019 and update y'all. 

Interviews on Music

I wanted to say thank you to everyone for participating. I really appreciate it. You all are the best 

I have been expanding my music library quite a lot this summer and have had a lot of really great conversations about different artists and music and genres and just the fundamental things that make music appealing to us. With something we all share and enjoy, I wanted to see how our opinions differed. Now I'm no Terri Gross or Melissa Ross but since it is a big subjective thing I've decided to get some other voices on this.
I'll give their names and a brief background:
Ashlee (my sister) - 13 - music listener - (interview done over phone)
Brian(my dad) - 48 - music listener - (interview done over phone)
Brooke-Lynne-20- music listener- (interview done over phone)
Bobby - 21 - Singer/songwriter/guitar -
Sarah- 20 - Choral singer/guitar  - former music education major - 

How would you describe your relationship to music? 

Ashlee -"My relationship to music is like um when I get to enjoy a song and sing to it and have a good time with it."

Brian - "My relationship to music depends on my mood and what I want to listen to. It could be something hard, or something in the middle or some pop just depends on my mood. But music has had an overall influence on my life."

Brooke-Lynne - "I don't know. Music is an essential part of my life, I don't know, I don't come from a musical background so it's a really cool thing that you can find talented people who are able to express themselves on things going on in their life in a relatable way. That I am then able to use to also get through issues in my life. It is essential to my happiness."

Bobby - "Music is a friend, I guess. Or each artist I come to know feels like a friend, rather than music overall. The more I listen to an artist and understand their music the more I feel like they are someone I know, who I communicate with (even though the communication is mostly one-sided)."

Sarah - "Hmm, at the moment I would say my relationship to music is pretty strained. While I love music I had planned to make it my career to teach it, the stress of being “classically trained” has driven me quite literally insane. My mental health took a steady decline while being a music major, all the classes, ensembles, private lessons, and I was working a solid 30 hours a week. It drove me mad. I love singing and performing and would love to make it my life, but at what cost? I love music, but now when I think about it, it just makes me anxious."

When and why did you start playing/singing/really pay attention to music? 

Ashlee - no comment - changed subject to getting her hair cut.

Brian - "I really started getting into music [pauses] how old was I ... let's see I probably would've been around Ashlee's age, 12, 13 something like that. Before then music was music. It didn't mean anything to me. My first album was AC/DC Back in Black that is what started it for me. "

Brooke-Lynne - "Within the past couple of years [pause] two or three years ago I guess. Growing up with music I just listened to upbeat stuff. Now, I listen to music that calms me or expresses my current mood which is not something I did growing up."

Bobby - "I grew up around talented musicians in my family, but didn’t start paying attention until a free Relient K concert at UNF. They played songs from Forget and Not Slow Down that they had never played before, this was before the album was out. It rocked my world. It really made me feel more than anything I’d experienced before that. Since then I’ve learned guitar, bass, ukulele, and expanded the scope of the music I listen to massively, become generally obsessed with music."

Sarah - "I’ve been singing for most of my life. Both of my parents are musically inclined, my mother a
singer as well and my dad played the guitar and produced a lot of his own music, I really started
to take singing seriously in high school though. I was pretty involved; I was in two classical
ensembles and a pop a capella group. The more I took it seriously the more I found out I was
pretty good at it. Singing brings a lot of joy into my life."

What aspects of music do you pay attention to when listening?

Ashlee - "The way the music sounds."

Brian - "I would say the words, what the song is trying to mean.  There is always a story.  Growing up it was just the music, basically, the guitar is what I really liked. [pause] I really regret that I stopped playing when I was younger... "

Brooke-Lynne - "I guess lyrics are important but that's not what I appreciate. It's the mood or vibe, the aura it gives off. Sometimes at night, I'll put on some fever dream [laughs] I'm not paying attention to the words, it's just about how it makes me feel."

Bobby - "I approach music the same way I approach movies. The first listen, I just enjoy the immersion of it. After a few listens, it turns into a real examination. I’ll start paying attention to lyrics, subtle melodies, composition, etc. It’s a great joy to come back to a song and discover more about it time after time."

Sarah - "When listening to music I tend to focus on lyrics. I like to be able to sing along to a song, so I try
to learn the words pretty fast. Though there are some exceptions, I tend to enjoy songs where
the words are the forefront of the song, not added for atmospheric purposes."

What is your favorite thing about music? 

Ashlee - "I like to dance to it and I like that I get to sing to it."

Brian - "I think music is really an extension of the soul. Different music can affect a person, bring them up or down, bring up memories so old you forgot about them, and can change a person. It's so emotional and it attaches itself to you at different points in your life."

Brooke-Lynne - "Besides the cliche 'music is universal', which is true, but I think it is what songs can mean. At one point a song can mean one thing but at another point, it means something entirely different. You evolve as a person and songs change and it's cool man."

Bobby - "Feeling, yanno?"

Sarah - "Oh man oh man. I love a lot of things about music. It can bring a lot of satisfaction to your life.
Especially from a performance perspective. If you spend hours and hours a week in a practice
room and you rock your juries, it feels great. I love that music can bring people together. Some
of my favorite memories are late night drives with my friends screaming The Front Bottoms at
the top of our lungs. It’s a beautiful thing."

Favorite album/song? 

Ashlee - "Right now it is A million Reasons, Lady Gaga 

Brian - "This new Christan song that just came out but I can't remember the name of it now. Why I listen to Christian music now... It keeps me grounded. It helps me when I'm having a bad day. I listen to the lyrics and it takes that negativity away. Other genres just made my moods more enhanced. I turned to Christian music and over a month or so I was really chill, not cranked up or anxious, and did not want to get out of the car and shoot and kill some body [laughs]. I've evolved over the years. I still listen to everything but now I'm here and it's who I am now."

Brooke-Lynne - "Favorite album is Seven + Mary  by Rainbow Kitten Surprise"

Bobby - "Favorite album of 2017 so far: STRFKR’s Vault One. As for favorite album in general, that’s tough. Forget and Not Slow Down had a huge impact on me developmentally, but High Violet, Conditions, So the Flies Don’t Come, For Emma, In Between Dreams, Seven + Mary, Heaven’s Youth, Kept (by Stolen Jars), Come Around Sundown, all rank up there. That’s the short list I think, minus a few."

Sarah - "Hmm I’m tempted to say Beach House’s new album B Sides and Rarities. Technically not new
music because it is a compilation of their older stuff, but the album is curated, so beautifully."

Is there anything you dislike about music? 

Ashlee - "Sometimes some songs are a little aggressive or loud and that's what I don't like... or if I can't understand it."

Brian - "I don't know too much about the business side but from what I can see it consumes people. To make it big they become consumed by music labels which is concerning. Everyone has their own opinion but I don't like rap music when they talk about shootin' and killin' people... or heavy metal scream music when they talk about suicide."

Brooke-Lynne - "I feel - not to be a grandma [laughs] - but some of the newer music has lost the artistic approach to it. Pop has always been there but newer rap is there too now - there are good ones out there - but [laughs] yah know all the Lil Yachty's out there. With newer music- people don't express anything."

Bobby - "I dislike some music, but there’s nothing I really dislike *about* music. I suppose that since music is so emotional for me, sometimes it can conjure up negative emotions and memories that I then have to deal with, just because someone played a specific song."

Sarah - "I don’t know if this is a dislike of music or just people, but people can become incredibly snobby
when it comes to music (myself included). Music is just so personal it’s hard not to judge
someone who disagrees with you about your favorite song, or if they love an artist that you
absolutely cannot fuck with."

What makes a song important/quality? 

Ashlee - "What makes it good is like when it has a beat that you can dance or sing to... or like um a certain sound to it that you like."

Brian - "A combination of how the song is made, the rhythm of the music and the meaning of the song - the message is what makes it of a good quality. I mean if you use 3 chords and the same lyrics over and over doesn't make it quality. You need an actual story line not just [vocalizes] "yeah, yeah, yeah" [laughs] Anyone can throw a song together yah know?"

Brooke-Lynne - "Wow, that's really hard to answer - my taste in music is diverse and the shit I listen to there is no one specific quality to it. It's not that I relate to it because sometimes I don't even know what they're talking about, but I still listen to it. I'm not really sure. That feeling man."

Bobby - "I think importance is entirely subjective. Quality, on the other hand, is layered and also subjective. Yea it's all subjective. As for me, a song becomes important when it makes me feel a lot or shows me something new, or has just the right words to quantify this vague emotion or experience I’ve felt but could never nail down."

Sarah - "A quality song is something that the artist puts heart and soul into. Music that I just cannot jive
with is music that its sole purpose is to make money. Money is great, and artists absolutely
deserve money for the work that they put in, but I want to pay for/ listen to music that has actual
meaning to the person performing it."

fin

IT'S SUMMER TIME

We are balls deep into SUMMER TIME!! That means little responsibility, summer fling(maybe?), trivia, good food, and lots of friends! Two weeks ago was America's 241st birthday and we kicked that off with a real bonafide 4th of july PARTY! Accompanied by so many pals, booze, a hot grill, and lots of explosives!

I didn't get too many pictures. The job of hosting such a party requires a lot of mingling, but I got a few and I will show them to you.  

(Left to Right: Joe, Jasmine, Anna, Jaren, Joanna, Chad, Sarah)

  

  

It was successful and everyone had beautiful smiles on their faces.  We took a break from our normal Tuesday Trivia night to celebrate our countries Independence day. I'm no nationalist but blowing shit up is fun and brings people together.

I have found a love for bringing new people together to laugh and enjoy company with. It is nothing profound or revolutionary but hey it's s o m e t h i n g  I'm working on a few products to further this.

The bottom line is I feel happy again. My pals have helped with that. They are great pals and people and I'm thinking about ways for you, the reader, to experience them too. I'm certain they will be much more enjoyable than me.

Stay hydrated, wear sunscreen, and i'll see yah later haterz

House of Building: A History and Explaination

(i told y'all it was coming and it is here! the source of my aesthetic coming straight out of Germany. It is a little tweaked from the original which was also an essay from my HUM2250 class. Have fun reading!)  

House of Building

Rising out of the ashes of post-World War One Germany, the artistic movement is known as Bauhaus, or ‘House of Building’, has created a massive influence on future modern movements to come. To truly understand the movement, and what created its significance, we're gonna dig deep into the history of Germany in the early twentieth century and the world around it during this time of war, poverty, governmental changes, and class division. This call to the crafts and unity in the arts is a symptom of The Great War and has a direct correlation to the ideologies of the school and the art it produced.

Founded in 1919 by architect, Walter Gropius, who merged two pre-existing art schools in Germany to create the foundation of the infamous Bauhaus. Gropius’s philosophy in creating the school was to bring all arts together as one and teach NOT in isolation but in UNITY, such as a workshop. Tired of class distinction not only in civilization but in the arts and the arrogant aura that traditional artists had, Gropius, aimed to break down the wall separating the craftsman and the artist and bring them together to be taught at one school. The crafts that Gropius mentioned where acts such as architecture, painting, and sculpture. Over the years new crafts would be added to the school, such as tapestry, woodworking, and photography. Gropius’s ideologies on class distinction came from the end of World War One, and the drastic changes happening in Germany’s political history. World War One raged from 1914-1918 (you already knew that) and left Germany in shambles, its economy wrecked, and it’s people frazzled. During these years Germany faced two revolutions, one throwing away Marxism, and the other renaming her as a Republic instead of an Empire. Civil war tore itself through the country in the name of defending social class between the Monarchist right and the Socialist left. Socialism victored over the Right in April of 1919 and gave the World War One Veteran, Walter Gropius, a spark of hope and optimism to write the Bauhaus Manifesto, published in the April 1919. Most of the Bauhaus students were also veterans of The Great War and subsequently connected to the message Gropius presented in the Bauhaus Manifesto.

“Let us then create a new guild of craftsmen without the class distinctions that raise an

arrogant barrier between craftsman and artist! Together let us desire, conceive, and create the

new structure of the future, which will embrace architecture and sculpture and painting in one

unity and which will one day rise toward heaven from the hands of a million workers like the

crystal symbol of a new faith.” (Gropius)


In a country facing class division in every place, Bauhaus was a place where the mission was to demolish those walls between the arts and attempt to teach a new and modern way of creating. Even the city in which Bauhaus was built, Weimar, had a 10km border around it to keep out the Left, in the times of civil war, just years before the building of the art school. This unique time in Germany allowed the need for inexpensive, yet functional items to manifest into a call back to the fundamentals of art and craft.


Modernism had already made a presence in Germany after her defeat in World War One. The WREKT economy made simple, stylish, and functional architecture appealing due to its inexpensive nature. One of the many influences of the creation of Bauhaus was William Morris, a late 19th Century designer who preached that art should be practical and be useful to society. Morris’s argument for form and function is seen here where he is quoted to have said ““Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”” (Denzer) This aim for functionality played a big role in the modernist way of crafting in Bauhaus. The Haus am Horn, an experimental residential house, was created for the first Bauhaus exhibition. Haus am Horn presented an economical way to give a home functionality and modern design.









The original plans for the house (pictured left) show a large living center in the middle with multiple rooms placed around the perimeter. The finished house (pictured right) shows the minimalist, simple design of the exterior of the home! After the exhibition in 1919, the Haus am Horn gained a significant amount of attention and word was spread that the plans would be used for cheaper housing in Germany, but such plans nEVER went through. (Which is super sad because I mean fucking look at that thing. It's dope.) Although never used, it proved to be an influential stepping stone to put Bauhaus on the map for modernist architecture. Gropius, when asked about the Haus am Horn stated “the greatest comfort with the greatest economy by the application of the best craftsmanship and the best distribution of space in form, size, and articulation." (Weber) It not only was a new design but was not so radically different as to be off putting to the citizens in the area. It was a house of practicality and that is what made it a success.

Bauhaus not only was influential in modernist architecture but in every aspect of design. Its ideologies and demand for functionality presented in a minimalist fashion is what drew in talented students and faculty from all over the globe. A former student, Herbert Bayer, who in time came back to teach at Bauhaus , designed a typeface called Universal Bayer. (Pictured below on the left) One font that reduced the redundancy of having two alphabets, one upper case and one lower. Though never manufactured, it is a famous example of Bauhaus’s modern, simplistic, and functional practices.








Club Chair, (pictured above on the right) is a classic piece of Bauhaus furniture. Using new technology to produce a s e a m l e s s  metal frame, that does not compromise the design but actually, makes the frame stronger. It is another example of Bauhaus’s philosophy towards art shining through. This model of the chair became popular many years later one an Italian furniture company began mass producing it. These examples show that a movement cannot exist in a vacuum. Without Germany’s unique history these artworks would never gain the traction needed to exist. Even the buildings Bauhaus operated out of are feats of modernism made only of concrete, glass, and steel. The original building (shown on the left) functioned for the school until Gropius designed a new building (pictured on the right) in Dessau. The school moved due to political pressure put on Bauhaus from the community. One can see that the font on the new building seems to be a similar version of Herbert Bayer’s Universal Bayer.









Bauhaus was unable to remain open in 1930’s Germany due to the Nazi party (S A D) gaining power in the German government, the Bundestag. Most of the faculty and student population were Jewish. Despite the closure, the school would reopen in the late twentieth century in Berlin. It is still in operation today. Gropius created a radically new philosophy in art that has permeated through, not only, Germany, but the WORLD for the last century. The call to bridge the gap between the bourgeois art and the functionality of crafts. Its influence is still easily seen in all forms of art and design. With contemporary architecture using not only the works that came out of the Bauhaus period, like the works mentioned earlier but the ideologies and philosophies that created the foundation. It is said that Bauhaus’s influence traveled with its faculty after its closure in the 1930s. They went all around the globe and began teaching and opening more art institutes using Bauhaus’s philosophy as the backbone of their teachings. With this ideology being taught globally throughout the twentieth century it has made Bauhaus the catch all term for modernist styled art. This applies to contemporary artists who did not even attend the school, like Eileen Gray, for example, who is famous for modernist furniture.


Bauhaus, or yah know the House of Building. Building not only massively influential art that has transcended the last century, but building an art movement out of the times. An unforgiving love for art that refused to be warped by political agenda or by cultural stigmas. Staying true to the spirit of the times in post World War One Germany. An art movement that switched the perspective on how we view the arts and crafts as no longer only for aesthetics but for a place for functionality. These ideas that have withstood time are what have proved Bauhaus to be one of the dopest movements of all time.

Works Cited

"Bauhaus."Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 14 Feb. 2017. Web. 10 Mar. 2017.




"Bauhaus Movement, Artists and Major Works."The Art Story. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2017.




Gropius. "Bauhaus Manifesto ." N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2017.




"The Bauhaus and the contradictions of artistic utopia - artnet Magazine."The Bauhaus and the contradictions of artistic utopia - artnet Magazine. N.p., 28 Jan. 2010. Web. 10 Mar. 2017.




"The Bauhaus Group."Google Books. N.p., n.d. Web. 10 Mar. 2017.